Belief

Today Sandor and I signed the divorce papers and had them notarized for me to take downtown later this week. To say that 10 minutes of my day sucked is an understatement.

Afterwards I went out for pizza and a salad with Angel and Stefanie who made me laugh, I read Rachel's blog about having ringworm for the past 3 months which made me smile thinking about her writing it, and tonight I'm going to help with the last of the medicine packing for Panama which will both get me ready to leave and remind me of the greater purpose in life. To say that those things make it better may not be completely true, but they do make it bearable.

Sometimes it's easier than other times to focus on the good and ignore the bad. And then I start wondering whether I should let myself focus on the bad or if there is another way to grieve and move on. I don't know that I have the answer, but I figured I would throw it out there for anyone else who may be contemplating the same thing - you aren't alone. For now I'm focusing on the good, since the bad isn't going anywhere - I figure if I need to focus on it to get over it then I'll do that later. And I'll listen to a quote I read this morning - "Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts; don't make the mistake of skeptics of believing their doubts and doubting their beliefs."

I believe that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I believe God knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb and he set me apart for his purpose before I was born (Jeremiah 1:5). I believe that I will be joyful and prosperous (Psalm 128:2). I believe that God can do all things and that no purpose of his can be thwarted (Job 42:1). And if I believe that then I can believe these light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (2 Corinthians 4:17).